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there will come a day when this shit won't matter

[ website | p i ck y o ur Vi ct i m ]
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[22 Jul 2012|04:21pm]

I am currently fucked up went to the tigers game. I love Indiana jones. Hate Alan. Ugh Brandon. Ugh whatever. Indiana jones and weed rocks.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Love Me

so much music [12 Dec 2011|01:36am]
[ mood | indifferent ]

Alright so I think I have told waaayyy too many people I am a stripper. Its a little bit out of control. I'm a little bit out of control. But up on the game. I have been smoking ed hardy all day. Lazy Sunday. Hungovaaa waking up in a random apartment on a very large comfy couch and beginning my process of indulgence there. Basicly watching tv all day. Did take a nap tho. Thinking about a salon job then thinking about doin nails all day at luv manis n pedis. I think I just should see how much $ that'd be :) :) I feel like I need more tattoos. Boys are ridiculous. I have found that you have your guys that u wanna get to know like hang out and shit and then there's guys that you fuck the shit out of and hang for one night every few weeks. I love when that time comes around. You da best.

Love Me

its been so long... [17 Feb 2010|11:33am]
Once upon a time in a land that now feels so far far away I was 16 writing in this journal. Now I am 22 and again writing. 6 years wow. Sometimes I forget who I was then. Probably because I like who I am better now than then. At 16 I was skinny, carefree and angry. Now 20 lbs heavier, strategicly thinking of my actions and plans and happy. Not angry. Not high. Not stupid. Still procrastinating. Still with a guy that I need more than I want. Making my life around him. Not thinking of me first. Still obsessed with my nails. Now obsessed with hair makeup and being happy. Loving my friends more than I ever have. Except the few that are on bad paths. Realizing that I would have no release if it wasn't for Lauren. Going out to bars which wasn't even on my mind when I was 16 and now I love it. Not the drunk sloppy part but being there with friends who are family and having a blast! I'm so happy I don't do drugs anymore. @ 16 I was smokin weed, doing triple c, dust off and some pills. Now I take my medication when I'm supposed to n occasionally drink. @ 16 I didn't have a job or drivers license which are the 2 things that have made me independent and I love them. My family.. @ 16 my dad was a decent guy, I didn't even know who he really was then. I didn't even like my mom and my brother was a lil kid,12, and great at school. Grandparents, at least 2 of them, were alive. Now @ 22 I loath my father. He was fired from 2 jobs which one of them he had had for almost 30 years, for being a sloppy bigheaded alcoholic. I've decided if he continues on this path of drinking everyday being so unpleasant I can't even be around him he will not be in my wedding. If he even lives that long. He drinks and drives all the time. Please God let him not hurt anyone. Please forgive me but I can't stand him as a person let alone my father. @22 I now love my mom more than anything. I can't go a day without talking to her. She's my rock. My brother. I love more than anything and if do anything for him except buy him alcohol. Still plays hockey, captain for the lakers. Not giving a shit about school and is 6'4". And my grandparents I miss em like crazy. Even if my grandpa rarely talked and grandma was an alcoholic. I just wish I would have had the time to know them better. Now at 22 I still live @ home and unlike when I was 16 I actually am here pretty much all the time. My bf of 4 years lives here with me which is actually hurting our relationship. I love my jobs and my semi independence. And I'm proud of who am now.
1 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

[18 Sep 2005|11:31pm]

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1 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

so these last few days have been the fucking worst. [11 Aug 2005|01:07pm]
[ mood | i wana get drunk again ]

this is my drinkin song and there aint no rules whatchu waitin on?
pop a bottle pour yourself a shot or even brew your own
if your gunna drink might as well drink until you hit the floor
after you hit the floor get your ass up and pour a couple more.

tuesday ashley called me and told me a bunch of shitty news
aint that some shit?
i walked to his house n confronted him, not like that did any good cause his bitch ass wouldn't give me a straight up answer.
so i went to elite for segment two, and he picked me up afterwards.
and he's like "i think we should just be friends" and i'm like NO FUCKING SHIT
we went to his house n chilled till he had to go to work.
yesterday i went to elite then walked to aaron's afterwards...so we can chill you know as friends... we chill then he takes me and ron home, and he said he'd call me after he got his car fixed.
never called me.
i fucking called him and he never picked up.

then last night i was going to hang out with dillon at 8ish cause i mean we're still friends and i was cryin and i needed him.
he was at his friend katie's house and then he texted me and said "sry can we reschedule? katie's sick. i do want to see you"
which made me cry even harder.

so i called up dave samel and had him and his friends pick me up.
we went to his house, saw a 40 of the king cobra and chugged it.
i was feeling great...then all of a sudden i felt like shit.
i puked by samels back door like 5 times.
then i was straight and lauren gave me a ride home and i puked on the ride home...out the window, then in some random parking lot.
i went home and i was straight.

that was my horrible two days.

6 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

[10 Aug 2005|11:50pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
3 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

it's crazy really aint it? [05 Aug 2005|11:26pm]
[ mood | oh so happy ]

Where would I go, who would I see in - five years from
Tell me how will I live, will I raise some kids yeah - five
years from now
Will I be locked down or will I be underground yeah - five years
from now
Tell me what my future hold, it scares me not to know
what I'ma be doin - five years from now

I live life daily, scared to make babies
It's hard to plan your future when the world goin crazy
Kids with no food, who can they turn to
beside they own people, I swear this world evil
They see us on TV, they thinkin we should be
The main ones providin for our community
But the government is paid, dishin out minimum wage
They don't care about the streets, as long as they get paid
My advice is please vote, don't take it as a joke
Cause five years from now the world could be gone in smoke
Now everybody's gone, cause they ain't stand strong
And vote for a leader that can lead our country home
We got people in Iraq, tell me why they cain't come home
If you care about your future please listen to the song
We got people in Iraq, tell me why they cain't come home
If you care about your future please listen to the song

I think about my homies, I think about my momma
I think about what's goin on I think about the drama
I think about the world, I think about my life
Five years from now, will I have me a wife?
Will I have me some kids, tell me how will I live
Will I be doin wrong or will I live positive
Will I live to get a Grammy or will I be with my granny
Five years from now, I don't think you understand me
I'm tryin to hold on, tryin to stay strong
It's hard not knowin what's really goin on
But I try to maintain, keep my head in the game
When shit ain't lookin too good, I pray for better thangs
I keep the Lord on my side, 'til the day I die
Will I blow up big?  I don't know but I'll try
I keep the Lord on my side, 'til the day I die
Will I blow up big?  I don't know but I'll try


i've been with Aaron<3<3 for like 3 weeks now.
he's awesome, i am having the time of my life right now.
we disagree sometimes but we laugh waaay more, and i love it
everything is just so funny.
ok falbo is hilarious.
snoop is hilarious.
ron is hilarious.
and aaron is just the best.

thank you captain obvious.


mad tv is awesome.

this is mine. this is where my babies come from.

hey man it's almost my fuckin birthday  You should get me drunk and leave me a blunt in the ashtray.

Love Me

[29 Jul 2005|05:27pm]
[ mood | cute ]

SARAH + AARON <3 fifteen days =]

so yeah, my grad party was alright.

Dillon was there from 5 to like 10. He was getting drunk.

Aaron came at like noon to help me prepare for my party and he bought me these huuuge pink fuzzy pillows  =] !

we got my cake, we got balloons, n did some other shit. He had to go to work at 5, then he came back at like 8...he got off work early.

Lauren, Jeremy, and Mike Jones came n chilled for a minute.

Mike bought a 5th of Parrot Bay n this stupid fuckin lil kid knocked it out of his hand and is shattered all over the cement, damn right?  Anyway I was talking to Mike and he's all talking about wanting to go to the Hip Hop Car Show, and I'm like "hell yeah I just got a ticket" so he says that he's goin to eminem. I was so pissed and he said that he's got two extra tickets he's been wanting to sell, so I told him to go get em cause I got the money, so I now am going to Anger Management 3, fuck yeah!

T.I. TOMORROW! hellz yeah, hopefully Ron and Snoop got tickets today so they can go.

Aaron and I are going to have so much fun!

The best thing I bought with my grad money yet is this pink rocawear purse with the matching phone holder and wallet. deifinatelly worth it.

anyways, hell yeah I'm keepin it fresh with my man and I'm having so much fun.


Love Me

[27 Jul 2005|02:38pm]

kind of a weird pic but yeah that's me n my baby

6 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

everyday its a gettin closer goin faster than a rollercoaster, love like his will surely come my way [12 Jul 2005|11:39am]
[ mood | gleeful [ha] ]

friday saturday and sunday i was 5 hours away at BLISSFEST fuck yeah it was so amazing.

fuck yeah for railroad earth and rootstand

dillon and i have seperated, we're still going to be close though. we (or I) just need time to be away from .. you know.

So i met this kid who I think has been adorable since I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th grade, honestly I didn't even think he knew who I was but I guess he's liked me for a while now. who knew? So I've been hanging out with him, ashley and ronny a whole lot and it's been awesome. I love them kids.

so yeah I like Aaron Poisson. for all of you who know who that is, yes he is sexy and yes he is going to be mine. so backoff. ::hehe::

anywho's i got two skirts at bliss, a bliss shirt and a lil halter thingy. i got a one hitter for Aaron, a bliss poster and a dirt bag =]

oh yeah and my fucking GRADUATION PARTY is not this coming saturday but the next. the 23 of July to be exact. Come.

this it for now. but i feel like i'm in 8th grade again... I heart Aaron!

Love Me

so my summer has hit a hot spot [06 Jul 2005|12:37pm]
[ mood | ohh my myyy ]

I've been chillin a lot with Ashley Alley, Aaron Poisson and Ron.
I'm havin so much fun, probably cause they are all gangsters and it's fun to hang out with people that aren't like me.
sooo much fun. so many good times.
me and ashley kicked ron and aarons asses at Battle of the Sexes.
wish i had pictures.

and the fun continues.....!!!!!!!!!!

Love Me

fuck perogies. [23 Jun 2005|08:03am]
[ mood | blah ]

so Noah's upnorth n shit and so no minifest.
but still only 2 weeks away from blissfest.
no it's not that bad.
i cant wait to be there, 3 days of pure bliss...hence the name.
finally got my pictures developed from aruba and prom.
also my cky adios came a couple days ago, and that makes me happy.
i got this tight ass glass bead that's a sun from the road show..
and got some other beads from various places and made a nice necklace.
that's pretty much what i've been up to this summer.
not a whole lot goes on around here.
a few nice parties, nothin crazy, but it suits me.
right now im laughing at all the fools who are all like yeahhh piston vision... too bad it's been sold out for over three hours. haha you fools.

i need something to do during the day, cause i just sleep or go in my pool, so if anyone wants to chill - just drop on by.

as for now im out.

Love Me

[16 Jun 2005|11:55am]
[ mood | hardly awake ]

yesterday i FINALLY got JULIEN DONKEY-BOY!!!!
and it's definatelly not as funny wher yer not high.

carmela and i had three grand days of adventures together.
went to the mall got new things.
::thanks again doug-e-fresh::

*cecily's grad party tomorrow
*noahfest in one week
*blissfest in less than a month
*have to contact proby officer
*have to take state boards
*have to get a job
*have to apply at arby's for second job
*have to plan a weekend for frankenmuth

that's all in a maonth and a half's time.

i have to remember to have fun, also.
and save money!

4 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

[08 Jun 2005|11:40pm]
[ mood | **yawn** ]

so yesterday at 11 am I graduated from Virginia Farrell Beauty School.
:] never thought that would happen.
And at 8 pm I, along with the entire South Lake class of 2005, graduated from high school.
wow guys, we did it.
I'm so glad it's finally over.
i got to wear this pimp ass pink cord around my neck for graduating cos.
congradulations especially so bryan zanotti and andi castro... cause i NEVER thought they'd do it on time.

afterwards i went to the Senior All-Nite party.
i'm so happy i went cause it was soooo fucking fun!
holy shit i had the best time.
plus i got a free 3-time tanning package, free haircut from somewhere, $10 gift cerificate from best buy, $10 amoco gas card, free meal from wendy's, free car wash, and sooo much other stuff.
the thing that i will treasure the most are the 8 buttons made of my friends and i.

got home at 6 am, passed out till one.
then hung out and watched kids.
got ice cream for me and dillon and went over there and hung out.
we rented movies and i slept a lil bit,
now im here and i am going to have a good nite's slepp.


4 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

I LOVE YOU CARMELA [30 May 2005|02:33pm]
Which movie? by travel_crazy
Favourite colour
You belong in
And your co-star should bedavid_the_gnome
Quiz created with MemeGen!
1 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

i.just.dont.give.a.fuck [27 May 2005|11:33pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

i went to prom and it was lame.
now i never have to go to south lake again and thats awesome.
i dont have to go to college.
i'm actually going to have a summer vacation this year.
i got Dillon as sick as i was.
blissfest in a month and a half.
graduation party a week after that.
death to people who call me "hippie".
hung out with noah + tom yesterday.
wish i was going to hookahville and bonaroo.
i legally cannot leave the state of michigan.
i no longer have to see anyone from south lake again.
...except for graduation.
no more unessasary drama in my life.
i can't spell and I'm ok with it.
in less that a month i can do hair and nails in a salon and charge people up the ass for it.
right now i feel bitchin.

so all in all i am half full, compared to half empty.

2 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

it's been a long time since i've been close to you it's been a long time since i've been sad... [18 May 2005|10:05pm]
[ mood | sicky icky icky ]

1. Dillon
2. Megan
3. J Stu
4. Carmela
5. Shane
6. Brittany
7. Scott
8. Harry
9. Cecily
10. Garrett Galloway
11. Sage
12. Noah
13. Douggie Fresh
14. Tracie
15. Zak
16. J man
17. Chris
18. Chad Butler
19. B-Dunn
20. Erik

Who is #8 going out with? ehh, the wife. (heather)
Is #9 a boy or a girl? girl
Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? both girls, so no.
How about #18 and #4? hahahaha yeah right, she'd kill him.
What grade is #17 in? 10th
When was the last time you talked to #12? damn like last week.
What is #6's favorite band? no clue, it used to be simple plan tho.
Does #1 have any siblings? one brother and four sisters.
Would you ever date #3? I don't think so.
Would you ever date #7? Hmm...dunno.
Is #16 single? nope.
What's #15's last name? Poprawa
What's #5's middle name? Patrick
What's #10's fantasy? lots of pot and me! just kidding.
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? omg she would make him cry with her stupidity.
What school does #20 go to? graduated from south lake in 03 and from college in 05
Tell me a random fact about #11? She's cute
And #3: TMNT 4 life
Have you ever had a crush on #16? No.
Where does #9 live? 8 1/2ish and kelly?
What's #4's favorite color? blonde bitch!
Would you makeout with #14? and get herpes? no thanks.
Are #5 & #6 best friends? they dont even know eachother.
Does #7 like #20? I hope not. dunno eachother.
Does #8 like #19? I hope not. dunno eachother.
How did you meet #15? Dillon.
Does #10 have any pets? No idea, he's in alaska.
Is #12 older than you? yesh
Have you ever given#13 a hug? nope.
Is #17 the sexiest person alive? no, but #1 is!

enough of those shennanigans.
i am so sick.
i didn't have the energy to go to south lake today.
sinus infection and stomach thing.
sorry to anyone i've kissed lately.
which is only Dillon, so sorry babe.
i will probably be in school tomorrow, so be nice to me cause i dont feel good.

NAIMA WON TOP MODEL!!! hell yeah!
oh i knew it though.
she's so hot.

whatever, im gunna go pass out. later.

8 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

[10 May 2005|08:44am]
[ mood | worried ]

totallly stressed out.
this week i have to work my ass off at cos and theory credits after school.
all work no play. well some play.
i have mini court tomorrow - kinda scary, but Dillon will be there so it'll be ok.
senior skip day i have to spend at cos.
senior lit i am soo behind.
im hardly eating - there's no time.
i have no energy whatsoever and im still pushing myself to the max.
i'm getting sick.
no more smoking for now.
my throat hurts so bad.


4 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

stole this from Sage the awesome [08 May 2005|04:31pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

01. I miss somebody right now.

02. I don’t watch much TV these days

03. I love olives

04. I love sleeping

05. I own lots of books

06. I wear glasses or contact lenses

07. I love to play video games

08. I’ve tried marijuana

09. I’ve watched a porn movie

10. I have been in a threesome

11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship

12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy

13. I have acne free skin

14. I like and respect Al Sharpton

15. I curse frequently

16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year

17. I have a hobby

18. I’ve been told I have an applebottom

19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me

20. I’m really, really smart

21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones

22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal

23. I hate the rain

24. I’m paranoid at times

25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free

26. I need money right now

27. I love Sushi

28. I talk really, really fast sometimes

29. I have fresh breath in the morning

30. I have long hair

31. I have lost money in Las Vegas

32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister

33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.

34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis

35. I have a twin

36. I have worn fake hair/ fingernails/ eyelashes in the past

37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.

38. I like the way that I look sometimes

39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months

40. I know how to cornrow

41. I am usually pessimistic

42. I have a lot of mood swings

43. I think prostitution should be legalized

44. I think Britney Spears is hot

45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past

46. I have a hidden talent

47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have

48. I think that I’m popular

49. I am currently single

50. I have kissed someone of the same sex

51. I enjoy talking on the phone

52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants

53. I love to shop

54. I would rather shop than eat

55. I would classify myself as ghetto

56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders

57. I’m obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal

58. I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.

59. I’m a pretty good dancer

60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington

61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother

62. I have a cell phone

63. I believe in God

64. I watch MTV on a daily basis

65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months

66.I love drama

67. I have never been in a real relationship before

68. I’ve rejected someone before

69. I currently have a crush on someone

70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

71. I want to have children in the future

72. I have changed a diaper before

73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before

74. I bite my nails

75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club

76. I’m not allergic to anything

77. I have a lot to learn

78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger

79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest "Friday" movie

80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes

81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message

82. I have at least 5 away messages saved

83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before

84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past

85. I own the "South Park" movie

86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal

87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum

88. I enjoy some country music

89. I would die for my best friend.

 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.

91. I watch soap operas whenever I can

92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist

93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career

94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all

95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s "Children’s Story"

96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy

97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it

98. I have dated a close friend’s ex

99. I have cut my self before

100. I am happy at this moment

2 Broken Heart(s) That Cannot Love Me

and you wonder why we call you bitch, i betcha [02 May 2005|10:43pm]
[ mood | ballin' ]

for the first time in soooo long i hacked today.
it was sweet. me, j stu, the mean one, nick, etc. outside at lunch.
then me, j stu, the mean one and ian the annoying one in art.

went to vivianos n ordered corsage and boutineer(hate that word).
then me and the great, sweet, wonderful one (yes dillon i mean you) went to Noah's and chilled with him and mark. t'was radical.
i haven't been there in ages.
i cherish the quality time with them.
they are truly awesome.

i need to re-do some of megans nails on thursday.
i still need shoes, jewelery, purse, and cover up thing...
shopping tomorrow.


Love Me

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